Diamonds and Pearls: Training Day

In considering sports such as football, basketball, boxing, wrestling, or street fighting, there is a rule that one abides by in order to win. This rule consists of knowing your opponent so well, that you can anticipate his or her next move and plan your response accordingly.  It requires you to think ahead of them so as to block their advancement on the field, in the ring, or on the court.  As a matter of fact, the coach will likely have videos in the locker room to highlight a particular weakness of the opponent, thus giving the coach the “heads up” on how to adequately train and prepare his or her team.

This is essentially what happens in our lives. Unbeknownst to us, we have given our opponent clues which has assisted in helping them to gain ground on us. Yet the only way to really abort the mission of our opponent, which is to steal, kill, and destroy, we must implement a ploy that counteracts the very assignment that was given.

Here’s what you need to know. You have a very real adversary who’s sole mission is to take you down. Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to cancel it’s mission and plan. Here’s something else you need to know. Your adversary uses things that you like, or even things that are considered sensitive heart matters, as a decoy to get you to react, think, behave, etc the way you have trained him into thinking you would. Yes, I did mean to say train. Essentially, when we repeat life cycles, bite the bait, fall into trap’s, it is us not only validating the adversary’s mission as successful, but we are giving the adversary more “highlights” to discuss back in the locker room.

I learned this lesson the hard way. And although, every now and then, I need a gentle reminder, I will never forget when I realized it was time to confound my adversary. Allow me to paint the picture for you:

As a young leader in the church of about 21, I was asked to attend a conference in the Midwest region of the country to assist in facilitating. I was given the release by my pastor to attend. Immediately, the host’s administrator and I began making arrangements. Not only was I to attend, but another well-known evangelistic duo that I personally knew was invited. How exciting right? I would be ministering in a conference with not only friends, but people who are highly gifted in ministry. So flight booked? Check. The hotel reserved? Check. Itinerary received? Check. Time off work requested? Check. We’re well on our way…or so I thought. I arrived in the city that morning and my driver was waiting on me. I’m thinking, “This is all great!” However, I made this assessment too prematurely. Shortly thereafter, I received word from the host that I was to reimburse them back for payment of the flight. Well, because I didn’t want to disappoint the leaders, I wrote them a check. Additionally, I was dropped off at the hotel with no means of transportation and no way to go out to get food for the 3 days I was scheduled to be in town. And of course, there was no tab left for me to order in room service either. Because I didn’t want to inconvenience the driver or the host by having them to go out of their way to bring me something to eat, or take me to the grocery store to stock up, I just ordered pizzas. After attending the first night of the conference, I realized that this was simply a way to brow beat another young leader (myself) into doing things the way they wanted, none of which I discerned to really be led of God. At this point, I just wanted to go home. When I called back to my home church to see if my church could get me a ticket home, I was told that our Bishop and the pastoral team was out on a leadership retreat in the Bahamas. (We had a system at our church that if we were out somewhere and things occurred that was uncomfortable, leadership would make arrangements to get us back safely). But because I didn’t want to disturb Bishop, I declined the offer to contact him to get the authorization to get me back home. Needless to say, I spent a very miserable 3 days in the Midwest and came back home pretty upset about it. When I was telling one of the leaders about what took place, she looked me square in my eyes and said something that was harsh, yet very true, and thus changed my life. She said, “While I understand that this was a very difficult situation to have been in, it’s nobody’s fault but yours….You will have to learn really quickly that you train people how to treat you.” My adversary knew that I had struggled greatly with not wanting to disappoint those in authority. I was a people pleaser. So when the situation took place, I had trained my opponent already in knowing just how I’d react which ultimately left me feeling underappreciated, mishandled, and taken advantage of. So back in the adversary’s locker room, he heard “Mission Accomplished!” Tough lesson; but lesson learned.

I share this Diamond and Pearl with you to say the same thing that was said to me many years ago. It is your responsibility to train people on how to treat you. Whatever interaction you have with people be it those in authority, family members, friends, or even those you may date (appropriately of course), it is your responsibility to set the tone for what is or what is not acceptable. Failure to do so can and will ultimately provide an entry way for your adversary to get in and use against you to cause you to react rather than respond. It’s a perpetual cycle. Understand that just as God uses man to accomplish His will and purpose on earth, so does the adversary. Could it be that the very situations you face are simply pre-planned?  Out of all of those situations, you will either repudiate the authority of the adversary in your life by not succumbing to it’s demonic devices, or you will yield to the process and add another notch to your opponent’s belt signifying yet another victory. Either way, I want you to understand that each day is a training day.